Before
After:)
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Friday, February 20, 2009
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
I feel tired...
Totally exhausted...
Mentally and physically...
I wanted to call mum so badly but I'm afraid that I would cry if I tell her what had happened to me. In some way I was regretted for getting myself involved in such huge responsibility. Each day I woke up feeling the pain on my chest. The pressure I felt is killing me slowly I guess. Forgetting my medicine is not something new for the past 5 weeks. Sleepless night caused by the overflowing mental plans I had. Sometimes I felt so lonely that no one could understand how I feel.
I wasn't myself lately and I guess I'm reaching my limit now. Staffs who can't seem to understand my thoughts, partners who can't seem to understand my situation; I felt as if I'm alone. Sometimes I felt invisible while doing work alone in the kitchen. I thought to myself, probably nobody even realized my existence.
I asked myself this question thousand of times. "Am I doing the wrong thing?"
The answer I gave to myself would always be "Maybe its really my problem"
Mum and dad used to tell me that no one can get involved in the food business if they don't know anything about food. I always make sure that I know every detail so that no one can easily fool me with some crappy answers. I try so hard to remember every single detail just in case something goes wrong but no one seems to understand me. Maybe they'll just think I'm doing too much unnecessary stuff.
I tried to explain myself but I couldn't find the right way to explain myself, I rather keep quiet in this case.
Darling,
You might be annoyed with me at this point, for being so weak. I admit that I'm weak this time, I'm not that strong to carry this responsibility. I needed help but I just don't see anyone could help me. There were so many times that I wanted to tell you but I just couldn't. I couldn't stand you being annoyed with me. These two days I felt totally lonely, so lonely that I felt as if I'm alone. We're opened for 5 weeks already but everyone still can't do the right thing at the right time. Take it as if I'm asking too much but if everybody would try harder then we'll be stable sooner.
Totally exhausted...
Mentally and physically...
I wanted to call mum so badly but I'm afraid that I would cry if I tell her what had happened to me. In some way I was regretted for getting myself involved in such huge responsibility. Each day I woke up feeling the pain on my chest. The pressure I felt is killing me slowly I guess. Forgetting my medicine is not something new for the past 5 weeks. Sleepless night caused by the overflowing mental plans I had. Sometimes I felt so lonely that no one could understand how I feel.
I wasn't myself lately and I guess I'm reaching my limit now. Staffs who can't seem to understand my thoughts, partners who can't seem to understand my situation; I felt as if I'm alone. Sometimes I felt invisible while doing work alone in the kitchen. I thought to myself, probably nobody even realized my existence.
I asked myself this question thousand of times. "Am I doing the wrong thing?"
The answer I gave to myself would always be "Maybe its really my problem"
Mum and dad used to tell me that no one can get involved in the food business if they don't know anything about food. I always make sure that I know every detail so that no one can easily fool me with some crappy answers. I try so hard to remember every single detail just in case something goes wrong but no one seems to understand me. Maybe they'll just think I'm doing too much unnecessary stuff.
I tried to explain myself but I couldn't find the right way to explain myself, I rather keep quiet in this case.
Darling,
You might be annoyed with me at this point, for being so weak. I admit that I'm weak this time, I'm not that strong to carry this responsibility. I needed help but I just don't see anyone could help me. There were so many times that I wanted to tell you but I just couldn't. I couldn't stand you being annoyed with me. These two days I felt totally lonely, so lonely that I felt as if I'm alone. We're opened for 5 weeks already but everyone still can't do the right thing at the right time. Take it as if I'm asking too much but if everybody would try harder then we'll be stable sooner.
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