I feel blessed

After all the emo stuff, finally I'm feeling better today, way better:)

Elsa's sms has inspired me in some ways. Thanks dear, for checking if I'm okay, I really do appreciate that. It makes me feel blessed, blessed with friends like you girls. You know who you are. I'm feeling grateful that I found you girls. Hanging out with you girls have always be the most enjoyable moment. We talk, gossip, laugh, eat, drink, shopping, movie and other random stuff together. With you girls, I can talk and act freely without restriction; without wearing any mask; without worrying what not to say. I'm really feeling blessed, blessed to love you girls and to be loved.

I love you girls!!!

What friends are for?

Keep smiling, keep shining
Knowing you can always count on me, for sure
That's what friends are for
For good times and bad times
I'll be on your side forever more
That's what friends are for

Hearing those lines makes me think, a lot. I did remember that I wrote a friend post before in my previous blog. Wondering on the same question, what friends are for?

What friends are for? I need an answer, seriously.

Recently I faced a real life drama that cost some of my tears and a few sleepless nights. As I mentioned before, how should one treats a friend? Always tell them what they want to hear in order to make them happy; or tell them the reality but make them angry?

After I've gone through all the dramas with my sayang, Christie is whom I meant by sayang, in case you think sayang is my boyfriend. Anyway, she helped me realized (I think she realized it too in the process of settling the dramas) that true friends can always overcome those so-called-drama. In fact, I guess both of us didn't think that it was a drama, it was more like a lesson, helping us to develop a stronger bond. True friends can always take the truth without being angry even a little bit. I can still remember us, crying together, reading the post, trying to communicate, and got better together. She makes me realized that true friends are those who you can count their endless bad habits but still love them to death. We are all human and we are not perfect.

As I said before, the drama I've been through recently, it makes me wonder if I can still treat this person as a close friend like I did before. I'm sorry to feel this way but I couldn't help myself. The impact was too strong that it hurts my heart. The truth has been revealed recently and I felt like I was cheated on; felt like all the trust I've given all this while are all wasted; felt like all the effort I've put in the friendship has been demolished; felt like I'm just a nobody; felt as if I don't know this person anymore; or I didn't really know this person at the first place as I thought I did?

I'm disappointed; I'm sad.

I need advise

Exhaustion

After the attempt to finish all my assignments as soon as possible, F&B and Housekeeping Project's draft, F&B assignment, Housekeeping case study,I guess I drained myself out.

All assignment due dates and the real life dramas I faced, finally I burst out last night. I felt so stressed out and felt like I can no longer breathe. This morning I woke up feeling the world is spinning, I couldn't help myself but to skip class and get more rest. I feel like I just want to hide in a place where there's no stress, no worries, no dramas. I'm tired, exhausted, mentally and physically.

Help me!!

Hari Raya??

Selamat Hari Raya!!!

Alright, I know it's a little bit too early to say this but I'm just too excited and overjoyed.

Today I got a chance to go for Raya shopping with my darling and his sister, Ila. We went to PKNS Shah Alam to search for Baju Kurung. I was totally amazed when I got there. There are so many Baju Kurung and all the things you need for your Raya. So the journey begins here...

I always wanted to get myself a pair of Baju Kurung. Personally I think the one goes with kain songket is nice. At least it looks simple yet sophisticated. I mean not like others are not nice but personally I prefer something simple. So I begin to search for the one I've been wanted to buy, preferably green in colour.

Ila and I walked around, searching stall by stall, comparing prices, in hope to get the best deal. Poor darling (kisses to him), had to follow us searching stall by stall. Anyway, Ila was attracted by this particular pair of Baju Kebaya which I think it's pretty and the red one was really nice. I guess she's still thinking whether to buy or not to buy. Hope she'll get what she wants.

After searching for a few hours, went to SACC Mall and Plaza Alam Sentral as well, we decided to walk back to PKNS because the price there was rather fair compared to the others. We went back to the place where I first saw the one that I liked and try to get the right size. I guess I'm not that lucky because the green one left only the smallest size. Darling was looking disappointed. I did gave up until darling suggested that I should try other colours. So instead of green, I tried this particular pair in beige, golden beige I guess. It fits well on me but I did feel weird because it was my first time putting myself in a pair of Baju Kurung. They said it looks good on me and I was feeling.. errmm.. blank. Haha!! I didn't know what to think because basically i like the design and the colour, but not knowing how to judge it's beauty on me. Despite all the mixed feelings, I bought the Baju Kurung.

I guess my brain reacts slow. I was feeling happy after that, thinking about the Baju Kurung that I bought for myself. I couldn't wait to go home and put it on again. So when I reached home, the first thing I did was putting it on myself again, taking as much time as I want to look into the mirror. I'm liking my first pair of Baju Kurung. Muahhhhh...

Selamat Berbuka Puasa~~

Selamat Berbuka Puasa!!!

This year is the first time I got to spend time with my friends to break fast together. I've never break fast with any of my friends before this because I wasn't very close to my Malay friends in highschool. For the past 2 years in university, I guess we didn't get the chance to breakfast together because we didn't have night classes until this year. Maybe you might think that I'm being nonsense or something since I'm not fasting like they're doing but it was a great experience for me.

During the first or second day of fasting, I skipped my lunch and tried not to drink any water, trying to experience how does it feel like to be fasting. Well, I can only say it wasn't that easy and mindset is very important in this case. I was feeling alright while I thought I might get gastric or something. You might want to try as well to feel what the Muslims feel during fasting month. Good way to understand other's religion's teaching.

In order to break fast, first we need to get food and drinks. My friends and I decided that we'll go get food in the Bazaar Ramadhan and that was my first time visiting Bazaar Ramadhan. I was totally overjoyed at that moment and was literally jumping all the way there. Bazaar Ramadhan is a place where people sell food and you can actually get food that you might not get easily during non-festive season. There are LOADS of Kurma in different sizes and colours. A friend of mine told me that it's good to break fast with the tiny sweet-taste Kurma as it will help to your appetite after fasting for a day. Besides that, you can find Murtabak, Roti John, Ikan Bakar, Kebab, Bebola Goreng(Fried Balls?? Haha!!), Kuih Buah Melaka(Darling and my brother's favourite), Fried Noodles, Nasi Lemak, Nasi Tomato, Nasi Kerabu, LOADS of Kuih and drinks, and so many more. There're 2 more weeks to go, so go check it out in any of the Bazaar Ramadhan you can find near you.

After getting food and drinks, you must find a place to eat. We basically sit together, staring at the food until it's the right time to break fast. I mean, you didn't have to exactly stare at the food but since the food are in front and you're feeling hungry, so yes, we stared at the food, whether intentionally or unintentionally:) When the time has come, everybody will be praying a little bit then starts to eat. It was all so very new to me. It felt like you're attending a very important ceremony where you have to be very careful with all the details. Again, Selamat Berbuka Puasa!! amm~~ amm~~ Sedapnyerr~~

Besides that, I have also had the best experience among all for this adventurous fasting month. I finally learned how to eat without any tool but my hand and fingers only. Thanks to my darling and the person who sold the Nasi Kukus with Ayam Goreng to me. He didn't provide any spoon or fork for me to eat and my darling insisted that I can eat by using hand, so I agreed to learn. It was interesting because the food you're eating are all in control of your hand. You can decide how to put it, where to put it, all using your hand. COOL!! You should try. I can only say I'm so talented:p

Today, thanks to darling, Iskandar's mother, I got to join the Persatuan Sindrom Down Malaysia people to buka puasa. Everybody was like family to each other, so close, so nice although I did feel weird a little bit at first. We sit together on a long table, then break fast together with light snack. Then wait for the rest to pray before eating dinner. Another great experience for me.

Darling...

Thank you for bringing me along today. I appreciate that.

Another 10 minutes to go, I want to wish you Happy 6th month Anniversary!!! Muahhh...

Sorry...

Today was the longest day that I've ever been through. The clock didn't seem like ticking every time I checked on it. My phone was lonely as it didn't ring for the whole day. The default picture in my phone seems so odd to me, as if it doesn't belong me; as if it's a fantasy, a dream. The person who looks so happy in the picture is no where to be seen.

I was angry last night. Angry at you for being quiet, not willing to talk to me.

I was feeling miserable this morning. I didn't hear from you the whole night. I thought maybe I should just stay at home so that you won't feel sad or angry when you see me in class. Responsibility forced me to class and yet you're no where to be seen.

I was checking on the time and phone every 5 minutes, wondering if you would call me or leave me a message. I guess I was being too naive not knowing what I've done to you. Probably you won't want to see me or talk to me.

Everybody was asking me about you and I have no idea what to tell them. My mind wasn't paying attention on the lesson at all. I didn't have the courage to call you as I thought you might not want to hear my voice. Finally I told everybody what happened during break time and they decided to give you a call. You didn't pick up the call or reply any one of the messages that we gave you.

I was worried and started to call you. I didn't remember how many times I've called you and you didn't pick up any of them. My heart started to beat faster; my mind kept telling me that something might happen to you as you're not a person who will ignore other's call or message. So I called your house phone and nobody pick up as well. "Call his mother", that was what my mind told me to do. I was shaking already, not knowing what to do to get to you.

My phone finally rang and it was you, telling me that you want to be alone. Tears was rolling in my eyes not being able to come out as I was in the public. I felt like my heart was torn into pieces, blood flowing like the stream in the river.

I was holding my tears, still checking my phone every 5 minutes and at the same time trying my best to answer all the quiz questions that I refused to answer. My mind was wandering all day not knowing what I'm supposed to think.

Finally class was finished and I went to the library. My phone was still silent. I went through your blog trying to get some clue and I guess I got my clue. This time I can no longer hold my tears anymore. I went to the toilet to cry while leaving your blog to Rishi. My heart was filled with sadness.

Sorry for being such a bad friend to you. Sorry for being such a useless girlfriend to you.

Leaving you alone probably is the best way to keep you away from hurt. If you need to be alone, then I'll leave you alone.

I'm truly sorry..

Julie in Blogspot???

Hey!!! Here I am, writing in blogspot, having a new start after writing in livejournal for 2 years. The 2-year posts in livejournal has recorded all my memories, no matter it's happiness, sadness, stress, anger or plain crappy posts. It has served as a friend who was always there for me when I have something to say. Good or bad, it has listened to me without any complaint.

However, my life has had a dramatic change, someone important has come into my life. He has changed me mentally, turning a hard rock into water by using his magical charming power. He has inspired me in so many ways, made me realised that love and honesty are important, no matter it's to a lover, family, friends or someone you've just met.

I've decided to stop the old blog and start a new one because I think I need a new place for my new life, new experience; a better one, a happier one, a long lasting one.

WELCOME TO MY LIFE!!!

ps: I love you my sayangs.. You know who you are :p