Sorry...

Today was the longest day that I've ever been through. The clock didn't seem like ticking every time I checked on it. My phone was lonely as it didn't ring for the whole day. The default picture in my phone seems so odd to me, as if it doesn't belong me; as if it's a fantasy, a dream. The person who looks so happy in the picture is no where to be seen.

I was angry last night. Angry at you for being quiet, not willing to talk to me.

I was feeling miserable this morning. I didn't hear from you the whole night. I thought maybe I should just stay at home so that you won't feel sad or angry when you see me in class. Responsibility forced me to class and yet you're no where to be seen.

I was checking on the time and phone every 5 minutes, wondering if you would call me or leave me a message. I guess I was being too naive not knowing what I've done to you. Probably you won't want to see me or talk to me.

Everybody was asking me about you and I have no idea what to tell them. My mind wasn't paying attention on the lesson at all. I didn't have the courage to call you as I thought you might not want to hear my voice. Finally I told everybody what happened during break time and they decided to give you a call. You didn't pick up the call or reply any one of the messages that we gave you.

I was worried and started to call you. I didn't remember how many times I've called you and you didn't pick up any of them. My heart started to beat faster; my mind kept telling me that something might happen to you as you're not a person who will ignore other's call or message. So I called your house phone and nobody pick up as well. "Call his mother", that was what my mind told me to do. I was shaking already, not knowing what to do to get to you.

My phone finally rang and it was you, telling me that you want to be alone. Tears was rolling in my eyes not being able to come out as I was in the public. I felt like my heart was torn into pieces, blood flowing like the stream in the river.

I was holding my tears, still checking my phone every 5 minutes and at the same time trying my best to answer all the quiz questions that I refused to answer. My mind was wandering all day not knowing what I'm supposed to think.

Finally class was finished and I went to the library. My phone was still silent. I went through your blog trying to get some clue and I guess I got my clue. This time I can no longer hold my tears anymore. I went to the toilet to cry while leaving your blog to Rishi. My heart was filled with sadness.

Sorry for being such a bad friend to you. Sorry for being such a useless girlfriend to you.

Leaving you alone probably is the best way to keep you away from hurt. If you need to be alone, then I'll leave you alone.

I'm truly sorry..