Bye Bye 2008

2008 is going to end soon and it feels like it was yesterday when I welcomed 2008, with Vien, in the living room watching tv. HAHA!! Anyway, it's 11.40 now and I don't think I have much time to do the bla bla bla...

This year is definitely is great year for me; been through a lot of stuff, gained a lot of stuff and had a great change in my life. I guess I'll have to write my review some other day because I don't think I can make it now.

5 more minutes to go...

Tick.. tick.. tick.. tick..

Happy New Year!!!!!!

Restless Holidays

Do you still call it holidays when you feel restless most of the time? You tell me the answer.

Since the day I came back here, I've been working for my parents 6 days a week, 5 hours a day, standing in the humid shop, with the hot weather. I wish I can get more time going around the city before I forget how it looks like. The city has changed so much since I last came back. I thought to myself that this might be the last holiday I can get before working and I must spend more time around with my family and friends but I guess I'm spending most of the time with my family but not my friends. I wish I can get more time to spend with them. I want to talk to them, laugh with them so much. I miss those moments we had during high school time. Hopefully by next week I can get myself more time.

Darling, I know I've said that I'll try to write more frequent so that you'll know what is happening here with me but I'm so sorry that I'm only writing now. I miss you so much and you are really persistent like you told m before. I love those letters you wrote to me and reading them each time makes me want to cry and hug you so much.

Writing in public is really weird. I don't think I can produce some more right now. I need a quiet environment to write. Till next time I guess.

I'm doing fine here so don't worry

p/s: I love you too darling.

Food Production Kitchen Lesson

This post supposed to be here almost a month ago but due to some complication, I'm posting it now.

Food Production is one of my subjects for the semester, we learned all sorts of food related stuff, did blueprint for kitchen and restaurant, then finally it's the kitchen lesson that we've been longing for.

On that day, I was so excited knowing that I'm going to cook in a commercial-look-alike-kitchen. When everybody arrived, Dr Naim, our lecturer started the class. First he explained and demonstrated on how to prepare fruit salad, prawn cocktail, 4 types of eggs and finally steak, with all the peeling, cutting, marinating, cooking, arranging and decorating. Then he requested that each of us was compulsory to cook types of eggs and steak, prepare prawn cocktail with all the decoration thingy he taught.

All of us were separated into groups, I was with Rishi and Darling. We gathered all the ingredients needed and started washing, peeling and preparing. Then we prepare the prawn cocktail, following by cooking eggs then lastly the steak. After all the cooking, we ate our production, cleaned and left the kitchen with a satisfied smile.

Our Proud Production

Cameron Highland Trip

Stay Period: 3 Days 2 Nights

Date: 23rd Nov 08 - 25th Nov 08
Venue: Darling's Uncle's Apartment

The trip was planned about a month before our exam; the purpose of the plan was to shake off all of our stress and tiredness gained from doing coursework and exams. To me, this plan has gone through all obstacles before we manage to make it a success.

First was the transportation problem, we couldn't get enough car to bring us up there. We've been trying to drag one of our friends along in hope that he can bring along his car. He didn't give us any answer till the very end of time. Then luckily my car can finally make it and the first problem finally settled.

Second was the budget problem, we were all in tight budget and therefore we have to redo our checklist for food and try to make a list with the lowest cost, of course we have to sacrifice certain food we like. It got settled after so many changes.

Shopping For Food

Third was the change of date, Rishi has to attend his sister's convocation and couldn't make it on Saturday. For a moment I was thinking of giving up but it's our last holiday together, we have to make it happen no matter what happen. Luckily everybody was okay with the change and we finally made it on Sunday.

We started our journey on Sunday morning at darling's house. We packed all the things in the car and drove off to the highway. We stopped once for lunch and once for petrol then we went all the way up to Cameron Highland. We reached the apartment around 4 if I'm not mistaken, unpacked all the things and cleaned the apartment. Then we started to prepare food for our first dinner there---Barbecue:) We had lamb, chicken wings, chicken and lamb kebab, squid, sausages, grilled potatoes... Burppp~~

Cleaning The Apartment

Right: Cleaner of the month
Left: Struggler of the month

Second day, we woke up early to prepare breakfast and started our journey to sightseeing in Cameron. First stop was the Rose Valley which nearly kill me. Nah!! Joking only. Haha!! I was having fun and at the same time my asthma came up probably because of the cold weather. Despite of the asthma thingy, I had fun walking around with lots of flowers surrounding me. I was a little bit hyper with all the flowers.

Breakfast - French Toast and Tea

Rose Valley

Kea Farm

Then the second destination was Honey bee Farm which don't get much of my attention simply because I'm not interested in bee or honey. Haha!! Then the third stop was Kea Farm which amazed me with lots of fresh vegetables and fruits. They sell vegetables in small packet and you can get 16 packets of them with only RM10!!!!! We bought some vegetables for dinner and continue our journey to the Strawberry Farm.

When I first stepped in the farm, the view of vegetables really amazed me; 4 different types of lettuce and I kept saying that I want to pick them up and eat them straight from the pot. They were all so fresh and pretty. Slurpppp~~~ I guess we were in the wrong season or something because I didn't see any Strawberry can be picked so we ended up sitting down and rest. We bought some flavoured Tea like Strawberry Tea, Strawberry cream tea and Rose Tea, and some Strawberries and went home.

Strawberry Farm

When we reached home, we had late lunch with Sambal Fried Rice and the left over barbecue lamb and chicken wings. It was a nice lunch, I love the fried rice. While Juan was cooking the fried rice, I was cooking sweet potato and pumpkin soup. It was my first time and luckily it came out okay. Then I had a short nap before preparing our dinner---steamboat. Some of us prepared food in the kitchen while some of us relaxing in the living room. We have so many food for steamboat; noodles, potatoes, mushrooms, crabstick, chicken, lamb, squid, prawn and vegetables. We started our dinner at 8.30 and ended at 11 plus.

Steamboat

The third day, I woke up early to cook breakfast and when everyone got up, we started to pack things and clean the apartment. We even made sandwiches for lunch and then went out for another sightseeing journey. We went to BOH Tea Plantation where Rishi's auntie is working. We had a tour into the tea factory and saw the tea making processes. We bought some tea and took some pictures. The view in the plantation was breathtaking. All the greenery which you can't find in any part of the city.

BOH Tea Plantation

The Peak View

Then we drove up to the peak to take some pictures, the view up there is even breathtaking but too bad it started to rain by then, we drove back to the apartment quickly in hope to pack all our stuff and go back but too it rained even heavier. We waited till 4 and made our move even it was still raining. We stopped once for dinner and once for toilet:p, then we drove all the way back to KL. The 5 hours drive was painful. It was killing me physically and mentally. It was raining the whole night and the road was so dangerous if you don't pay extra attention and drive carefully. I was about to breakdown and cry for a few time because i was so scared.

Bags

Fortunately, everything went well and I reached home around 11.30pm. Unpacked all the things, showered and went to bed. The trip was fun and I enjoyed the view and weather, but not the long hours drive. I hope I can go again but wish that someone can drive me up. HAHA!!

Joyful Day

Despite the tiredness from Cameron trip and the sickness that I had to bear with for two days, yesterday was one of the few happiest days. Darling was with me the whole day, we spent time together eating, talking and joking. It's been a while since we both spent time together alone. Our date has always been around the uni area because of all the responsibilities we had for our coursework.

Tomorrow I'll be flying back to KK for holiday and yesterday will be the last time I saw darling till I come back from KK. Darling paid for my breakfast, lunch and dinner which really made me feel touched. I know darling doesn't have much to spend but he said he wants to send me back happily and I was really happy yesterday.

Thank you darling... I will miss you while I'm there. I'll try my best to update this blog to let you know I'm doing fine there.

<3<3Love You<3<3

SICKNESS

I'm sick... so very sick...

I hated it every time I got sick like this, like the whole body is crushing on me. Every part of my body feels wrong and sick.

Last night I had flu that made me want to rip my nose off and throw it away. Then I felt warm over my body especially my eyes and my breath - I was having slight fever!!!

"What a bad day!!!" I thought to myself.

This morning, the pain of my stomach woke me up and it was killing me. I was having gastric. It felt as if thousands of needle poking through my stomach. It made me want to scream. I thought I was only hungry, so I went to the kitchen, boiled some water and had a cup of cereal drink. Then I took medicine and went back to sleep.

It was not surprising that I woke up 3 hours later with the same pain. To make the situation worse, I'm having diarrhoea!!

Fever, Gastric and Diarrhoea!!!

"What ANOTHER bad day!!!"

I thought to myself that I need food in order for me to take medicine. But I don't have any food at home, not even biscuits. I called my brother hoping that he can get me some food as he went to eat. My brother did not bring his phone along. I had to go down myself to get food. The pain was seriously killing me.

After taking a bowl of hot vermicelli soup, my stomach felt better. As I thought I might be getting better, the pain CAME BACK!!!

After taking medicine, I'm now lying on my bed, bearing with the pain in my stomach, the trips I have to take to go toilet and the warmness in my whole body.

I want mummy now!!! T_T

How Do I Live

How do I,
Get through one night without you?
If I had to live without you,
What kind of life would that be?
Oh, I...
I need you in my arms, need you to hold,
You're my world, my heart, my soul,
If you ever leave,
Baby you would take away everything good in my life,
And tell me now
How do I live without you?
I want to know,
How do I breathe without you?
If you ever go,
How do I ever, ever survive?
How do I, how do I, oh how do I live?
Without you,
There'd be no sun in my sky,
There would be no love in my life,
There'd be no world left for me.
And I,
Baby I don't know what I would do,
I'd be lost if I lost you,
If you ever leave,
Baby you would take away everything real in my life,
And tell me now,
How do I live without you?
I want to know,
How do I breathe without you?
If you ever go,
How do I ever, ever survive?
How do I, how do I, oh how do I live?
Please tell me baby,
How do I go on?
If you ever leave,
Baby you would take away everything,
I need you with me,
Baby don't you know that you're everything,
Good in my life?
And tell me now,
How do I live without you,
I want to know,
How do I breathe without you?
If you ever go,
How do I ever, ever survive?
How do I, how do I, oh how do I live?
How do I live without you?
How do I live without you baby?

Dear Holy

I just got Holy's [in case you're wondering, Holy is my friend Ho Lee Yin. Instead of typing HLY, I prefer to call her Holy:) ] messages asking me if I'm free on 23rd of December. Her baby boy Timothy is turning 1 and she's having a BBQ party in Kampar. At that moment I was thinking "wow!! Timothy is turning one already!!"

The last time I met Holy was July or August 2007, just before I moved out from Millennium Court. Gosh!! I moved out from that place like September 2007 and today is 09 November 2008. I'm such a bad friend I thought to myself. I've been getting her messages telling me about Timothy and herself; I'm glad that we still keep in touch once a while. I wonder how Timothy looks like as I last saw his photo when he was only one month old. Suddenly I thought I miss her so much. She's one of the first few friends who got married early and have a baby already. I went to her wedding and during her wedding ceremony I nearly cried; I was happy for her. Just hope that I'll find some time in the future days to meet her and catch up with her.

I miss you Holy!!

Excitement versus Restlessness

There's a small cafe around my university compound which belongs to my faculty. Among my friends, we used to criticize the cafe and thought it can be better. We always throw out ideas randomly, on how to improve the cafe. Recently, we found out that the cafe is closed due to lack of manpower. Suddenly, we came out with the idea of running the cafe, voluntarily. I guess deep down inside, we had already imagined doing it.

Previously, the cafe was run by students as their practical. No rental needed and budgets are given. Where to get such great deal? The only weakness is that we can't really change how it looks because it doesn't belong to us. We can only come out with excellent concept and great marketing strategy to sell our excellent concept.

When we first came out with the idea of taking over the cafe, I wasn't so sure if i want to do it. After all, it is a huge responsibility, not a game that you can quit easily. Darling suggested that we should see prof and get some information on the cafe. I wasn't so sure about the idea but we met prof yesterday and talked to her. Somehow she gave me strength to do it. Maybe because of her trust on us. I was all energized up after meeting her. Then we met May, the girl who run the cafe previously. She gave us some details on the cafe and even gave me her file. From that very moment, I felt like the responsibility belongs to us already. I can't help thinking about plans on improving and running the cafe. So many things came up and without knowing it, I am restless now. Ideas keep coming and I need to keep jotting down before it goes away. Recipes, concepts, management stuff, marketing stuff, decor stuff... I'm restless but I feel content.

My parents are not so sure whether it's a good idea because they're worried that I can't cope with my studies. I have faith on myself and my partners. We can definitely do it because we are the best and always will be. Darling, now I am sure that I really want to do it. I hardly have this feeling, a feeling of wanting something so bad that I'll doing everything to get it. My friends who are reading this, please give us support because we really need it. Pray for us as well...

The End

Sorry Darling, I know I said I'll sleep. After all the loud quarreling, I just couldn't sleep, yet.

15 minutes ago, there was one couple quarreling next door. They really scared me as I am staying at home alone tonight. Initially I thought they were just playing as the girl refuse to let the guy in. Then when they started to raise their voice, I knew it wasn't playing. Apparently they just broke up as the guy wants to get his stuff back from the girl's house. They ended up fighting, the guy slapped the girl and the girl started to cry, loudly. Luckily somebody inside the house came out and opened the door.

Why most relationship must end this way, an ugly ending. In their case, seems like the girl cheated. I still don't understand how it can happen this way. If you dislike somebody, why get together at the first place and cheat later. Call me naive. You may say things are not as simple as I thought it was. But I thought it was plain desperation. When you love somebody fully with your heart, you won't find an extra space in your heart to put somebody else. In fact you won't be able to see anybody else. I just don't understand.

To My Dearest Love

My Love

Without you I will be nobody
Minding my own business
Without you I will be a rock
No tears, no laughter
Without you I will be lost
Not having strength or courage
Without you I will be living in emptiness
No sunshine, no purpose

With you my days are colourful
You are my clown that gives me laughter
With you my days are warm
You are my sunshine that gives me warmth
With you my days are purposeful
It is to love you every minute every second
Darling, promise me that you will be there for me till the end of time
I need you so much, more than anybody could imagine
You give me strength
You give me warmth
You give me sunshine
You give me laughter
Most important
You give me LOVE

I love you my darling
Forever

Tourism Conference 2008

Joyful Day

I attended the Tourism Conference 2008 two days ago. Despite all the incompetencies and inconsistencies that I had to bear with, I was happy. I was very satisfied with the outcome, an unexpected outcome.

I can still remember what had happened few months back after I presented my final draft to my lecturers and friends. I cried; cried because I wasn't satisfied with my own presentation and eventually thought it was lousy. I was totally disappointed with myself at the moment. I was sad.

The Tourism Conference 2008 gave me a second chance to prove that I can do better. I re-plan my presentation strategy and came out with a new slide show. I read through my booklet as if it's a story book to refresh my memory about Kuala Kangsar. I decided not to plan anything detail as I thought doing it spontaneously might help to produce a smoother story telling way.

On the conference day, I woke up early, packed along with my confidence and traveled to the conference place - UNITAR City Campus. When I first stepped into the hall, I saw my book in the ice. I was feeling proud at that moment but didn't dare to show how proud I was. I was afraid that others might think I was trying to show off or something like that. During the morning session, I enjoyed the presentations about Japan and Pulau Gaya; enjoyed the way Sir Abu Musa made fun of others. Haha!! Then, lunch was kind of rushing because Darling and I have to get back to the campus fast, we were the second presenters. Too bad we were presenting concurrently, I can't witness Darling's magic in his presentation. Everyone was complimenting his presentation. Hmm...

As for myself, the first thing I did when I entered the room was apologized because I was late. Ms Haliza had to present first because I was late. I bet I was looking clumsy because I rushed. Pn Munira went second, doing introduction for Kuala Kangsar and did a great introduction for me. She basically put everyone's attention on me. For one second, I was scared. I took a deep breath and went out. Despite the clumsy look, I thought I did quite well. Sir Abu Musa looked very satisfied with my presentation. He complimented me once I got back to my seat next to him. I was happy with myself and one second I felt proud; proud that I finally did a great job that didn't disappoint myself and others.

After the whole presentation session, when we thought it was the end, Prof came in with a stack of booklets. We were overjoyed!! Those booklets are our hard work and we are getting our own copy of the booklets. Again, I felt proud to be in the research team. Suddenly the whole experience become so very precious to me. Smile is hanging on everyone's face; lecturers and students. I thought we did a great job. I was proud of everybody, those who presented and those who made the posters.

After the closing ceremony, I finally got the courage to do something that I've never done before. I thanked my lecturers; I thanked Pn Munira for advising me; thanked Sir Abu Musa for editing my booklet; thanked Prof for advising and editing; thanked Ms Rohaizah for advising too. My courage had brought me surprises. Sir Abu Musa told me that if he was to rate, my booklet will be the best because he loves my booklet the most; second will be Darling's book. I was proud of us both that moment. Then I found out that Sir Abu Musa and Ms Haliza were the two who chosen my book to be place in the ice for the opening ceremony. Again, I was proud. Prof told me how she wanted to see my presentation but couldn't because she was in the other concurrent session. I was overjoyed when I heard that. Darling, I know you've been telling me how Prof likes my work. Now I know. Then Ms Rohaizah said to me "you deserved that, you did a good job". I thought I can fly with all the words I got from my advisers. I was really overjoyed. Lucky that I can still control myself, or else I'll be jumping around.

Before leaving, we took tons of photos; formal and crazy photos. Prof even warned us not to do something funny on her. Haha!! Cute Prof.

I feel blessed

After all the emo stuff, finally I'm feeling better today, way better:)

Elsa's sms has inspired me in some ways. Thanks dear, for checking if I'm okay, I really do appreciate that. It makes me feel blessed, blessed with friends like you girls. You know who you are. I'm feeling grateful that I found you girls. Hanging out with you girls have always be the most enjoyable moment. We talk, gossip, laugh, eat, drink, shopping, movie and other random stuff together. With you girls, I can talk and act freely without restriction; without wearing any mask; without worrying what not to say. I'm really feeling blessed, blessed to love you girls and to be loved.

I love you girls!!!

What friends are for?

Keep smiling, keep shining
Knowing you can always count on me, for sure
That's what friends are for
For good times and bad times
I'll be on your side forever more
That's what friends are for

Hearing those lines makes me think, a lot. I did remember that I wrote a friend post before in my previous blog. Wondering on the same question, what friends are for?

What friends are for? I need an answer, seriously.

Recently I faced a real life drama that cost some of my tears and a few sleepless nights. As I mentioned before, how should one treats a friend? Always tell them what they want to hear in order to make them happy; or tell them the reality but make them angry?

After I've gone through all the dramas with my sayang, Christie is whom I meant by sayang, in case you think sayang is my boyfriend. Anyway, she helped me realized (I think she realized it too in the process of settling the dramas) that true friends can always overcome those so-called-drama. In fact, I guess both of us didn't think that it was a drama, it was more like a lesson, helping us to develop a stronger bond. True friends can always take the truth without being angry even a little bit. I can still remember us, crying together, reading the post, trying to communicate, and got better together. She makes me realized that true friends are those who you can count their endless bad habits but still love them to death. We are all human and we are not perfect.

As I said before, the drama I've been through recently, it makes me wonder if I can still treat this person as a close friend like I did before. I'm sorry to feel this way but I couldn't help myself. The impact was too strong that it hurts my heart. The truth has been revealed recently and I felt like I was cheated on; felt like all the trust I've given all this while are all wasted; felt like all the effort I've put in the friendship has been demolished; felt like I'm just a nobody; felt as if I don't know this person anymore; or I didn't really know this person at the first place as I thought I did?

I'm disappointed; I'm sad.

I need advise

Exhaustion

After the attempt to finish all my assignments as soon as possible, F&B and Housekeeping Project's draft, F&B assignment, Housekeeping case study,I guess I drained myself out.

All assignment due dates and the real life dramas I faced, finally I burst out last night. I felt so stressed out and felt like I can no longer breathe. This morning I woke up feeling the world is spinning, I couldn't help myself but to skip class and get more rest. I feel like I just want to hide in a place where there's no stress, no worries, no dramas. I'm tired, exhausted, mentally and physically.

Help me!!

Hari Raya??

Selamat Hari Raya!!!

Alright, I know it's a little bit too early to say this but I'm just too excited and overjoyed.

Today I got a chance to go for Raya shopping with my darling and his sister, Ila. We went to PKNS Shah Alam to search for Baju Kurung. I was totally amazed when I got there. There are so many Baju Kurung and all the things you need for your Raya. So the journey begins here...

I always wanted to get myself a pair of Baju Kurung. Personally I think the one goes with kain songket is nice. At least it looks simple yet sophisticated. I mean not like others are not nice but personally I prefer something simple. So I begin to search for the one I've been wanted to buy, preferably green in colour.

Ila and I walked around, searching stall by stall, comparing prices, in hope to get the best deal. Poor darling (kisses to him), had to follow us searching stall by stall. Anyway, Ila was attracted by this particular pair of Baju Kebaya which I think it's pretty and the red one was really nice. I guess she's still thinking whether to buy or not to buy. Hope she'll get what she wants.

After searching for a few hours, went to SACC Mall and Plaza Alam Sentral as well, we decided to walk back to PKNS because the price there was rather fair compared to the others. We went back to the place where I first saw the one that I liked and try to get the right size. I guess I'm not that lucky because the green one left only the smallest size. Darling was looking disappointed. I did gave up until darling suggested that I should try other colours. So instead of green, I tried this particular pair in beige, golden beige I guess. It fits well on me but I did feel weird because it was my first time putting myself in a pair of Baju Kurung. They said it looks good on me and I was feeling.. errmm.. blank. Haha!! I didn't know what to think because basically i like the design and the colour, but not knowing how to judge it's beauty on me. Despite all the mixed feelings, I bought the Baju Kurung.

I guess my brain reacts slow. I was feeling happy after that, thinking about the Baju Kurung that I bought for myself. I couldn't wait to go home and put it on again. So when I reached home, the first thing I did was putting it on myself again, taking as much time as I want to look into the mirror. I'm liking my first pair of Baju Kurung. Muahhhhh...

Selamat Berbuka Puasa~~

Selamat Berbuka Puasa!!!

This year is the first time I got to spend time with my friends to break fast together. I've never break fast with any of my friends before this because I wasn't very close to my Malay friends in highschool. For the past 2 years in university, I guess we didn't get the chance to breakfast together because we didn't have night classes until this year. Maybe you might think that I'm being nonsense or something since I'm not fasting like they're doing but it was a great experience for me.

During the first or second day of fasting, I skipped my lunch and tried not to drink any water, trying to experience how does it feel like to be fasting. Well, I can only say it wasn't that easy and mindset is very important in this case. I was feeling alright while I thought I might get gastric or something. You might want to try as well to feel what the Muslims feel during fasting month. Good way to understand other's religion's teaching.

In order to break fast, first we need to get food and drinks. My friends and I decided that we'll go get food in the Bazaar Ramadhan and that was my first time visiting Bazaar Ramadhan. I was totally overjoyed at that moment and was literally jumping all the way there. Bazaar Ramadhan is a place where people sell food and you can actually get food that you might not get easily during non-festive season. There are LOADS of Kurma in different sizes and colours. A friend of mine told me that it's good to break fast with the tiny sweet-taste Kurma as it will help to your appetite after fasting for a day. Besides that, you can find Murtabak, Roti John, Ikan Bakar, Kebab, Bebola Goreng(Fried Balls?? Haha!!), Kuih Buah Melaka(Darling and my brother's favourite), Fried Noodles, Nasi Lemak, Nasi Tomato, Nasi Kerabu, LOADS of Kuih and drinks, and so many more. There're 2 more weeks to go, so go check it out in any of the Bazaar Ramadhan you can find near you.

After getting food and drinks, you must find a place to eat. We basically sit together, staring at the food until it's the right time to break fast. I mean, you didn't have to exactly stare at the food but since the food are in front and you're feeling hungry, so yes, we stared at the food, whether intentionally or unintentionally:) When the time has come, everybody will be praying a little bit then starts to eat. It was all so very new to me. It felt like you're attending a very important ceremony where you have to be very careful with all the details. Again, Selamat Berbuka Puasa!! amm~~ amm~~ Sedapnyerr~~

Besides that, I have also had the best experience among all for this adventurous fasting month. I finally learned how to eat without any tool but my hand and fingers only. Thanks to my darling and the person who sold the Nasi Kukus with Ayam Goreng to me. He didn't provide any spoon or fork for me to eat and my darling insisted that I can eat by using hand, so I agreed to learn. It was interesting because the food you're eating are all in control of your hand. You can decide how to put it, where to put it, all using your hand. COOL!! You should try. I can only say I'm so talented:p

Today, thanks to darling, Iskandar's mother, I got to join the Persatuan Sindrom Down Malaysia people to buka puasa. Everybody was like family to each other, so close, so nice although I did feel weird a little bit at first. We sit together on a long table, then break fast together with light snack. Then wait for the rest to pray before eating dinner. Another great experience for me.

Darling...

Thank you for bringing me along today. I appreciate that.

Another 10 minutes to go, I want to wish you Happy 6th month Anniversary!!! Muahhh...

Sorry...

Today was the longest day that I've ever been through. The clock didn't seem like ticking every time I checked on it. My phone was lonely as it didn't ring for the whole day. The default picture in my phone seems so odd to me, as if it doesn't belong me; as if it's a fantasy, a dream. The person who looks so happy in the picture is no where to be seen.

I was angry last night. Angry at you for being quiet, not willing to talk to me.

I was feeling miserable this morning. I didn't hear from you the whole night. I thought maybe I should just stay at home so that you won't feel sad or angry when you see me in class. Responsibility forced me to class and yet you're no where to be seen.

I was checking on the time and phone every 5 minutes, wondering if you would call me or leave me a message. I guess I was being too naive not knowing what I've done to you. Probably you won't want to see me or talk to me.

Everybody was asking me about you and I have no idea what to tell them. My mind wasn't paying attention on the lesson at all. I didn't have the courage to call you as I thought you might not want to hear my voice. Finally I told everybody what happened during break time and they decided to give you a call. You didn't pick up the call or reply any one of the messages that we gave you.

I was worried and started to call you. I didn't remember how many times I've called you and you didn't pick up any of them. My heart started to beat faster; my mind kept telling me that something might happen to you as you're not a person who will ignore other's call or message. So I called your house phone and nobody pick up as well. "Call his mother", that was what my mind told me to do. I was shaking already, not knowing what to do to get to you.

My phone finally rang and it was you, telling me that you want to be alone. Tears was rolling in my eyes not being able to come out as I was in the public. I felt like my heart was torn into pieces, blood flowing like the stream in the river.

I was holding my tears, still checking my phone every 5 minutes and at the same time trying my best to answer all the quiz questions that I refused to answer. My mind was wandering all day not knowing what I'm supposed to think.

Finally class was finished and I went to the library. My phone was still silent. I went through your blog trying to get some clue and I guess I got my clue. This time I can no longer hold my tears anymore. I went to the toilet to cry while leaving your blog to Rishi. My heart was filled with sadness.

Sorry for being such a bad friend to you. Sorry for being such a useless girlfriend to you.

Leaving you alone probably is the best way to keep you away from hurt. If you need to be alone, then I'll leave you alone.

I'm truly sorry..

Julie in Blogspot???

Hey!!! Here I am, writing in blogspot, having a new start after writing in livejournal for 2 years. The 2-year posts in livejournal has recorded all my memories, no matter it's happiness, sadness, stress, anger or plain crappy posts. It has served as a friend who was always there for me when I have something to say. Good or bad, it has listened to me without any complaint.

However, my life has had a dramatic change, someone important has come into my life. He has changed me mentally, turning a hard rock into water by using his magical charming power. He has inspired me in so many ways, made me realised that love and honesty are important, no matter it's to a lover, family, friends or someone you've just met.

I've decided to stop the old blog and start a new one because I think I need a new place for my new life, new experience; a better one, a happier one, a long lasting one.

WELCOME TO MY LIFE!!!

ps: I love you my sayangs.. You know who you are :p